Strangers vs. Friends

The idea of mate copying has been studied and proven to be robust between countries, age, and other demographics through both videos and pictures. If someone assumes a romantic interest between a model and mate, they are more likely to be interested in the mate. This was tested by having participants watch strangers in Germany go on blind dates. The perceived successfulness of the date determined whether the observer’s desire increased, decreased, or remained the same for a long term or short term relationship. This experiment was supposed to simulate the real world affect of friends, family, peers, and strangers on dating. In middle and early high school this was clearly true as my friends would date someone and by the end of the year it was not uncommon that two or three other friends would have dated the same guy. My question is how the effect of knowing the model changes the dynamics of mate modeling?

Often friends get in little battles over mutual crushes and the second crush may have stemmed from the first friend’s crush. But looking at the serious relationships like dating, I do not think the mate copying is as effective. In middle school, when dating meant hugging at the end of the school day, holding hands, and going to the movies, changing boyfriends/girlfriends in social groups of friends was not an issue. As the relationships got more serious, there was a lot more at stake for dating a friend’s ex and most certainly for breaking them up. The risk to the friendship of mate copying their boyfriend or even a hook-up was much greater as people got older. There is also the concept of not wanting to be “seconds”. If two single friends copy each other in their interest that is probably due to mate copying, but taking it any further can lead to too much competition, ruining a friendship, or feeling slighted for not being the first choice and losing interest. I am assuming that the older people get, the truer this is and how strangers will actually play a more influential role in the mate copying than strong ties to friends or family where the copying could be detrimental. Friends, family, and peers are still influential in whether or not you keep a boyfriend/girlfriend, but I think the initial attraction or increase in attraction will increasingly depend on strangers as individuals get older.